It's not unheard of, where I'm from, [ in explanation, still a little miserable about it. ] Contact with magical energies can give one magic, in certain circumstances. It may be that I acquired my magic there, but there was no opportunity to discover it before I woke here.
[ seeing as she died there minutes after she might have acquired her magic—but we're not thinking about that. done is done, no use crying over spilt blood. ]
Yes. [ whispered, somewhat ashamed for reasons she can't quite articulate. ] Death or, ah, the other thing. Tranquility?
That's right. I won't tell you that there's no danger in the larger world; I grew up in a Circle myself. But I can assure you that Riftwatch isn't in the habit of putting anyone to death or forcing Tranquility on them. We may need to take some steps to keep you or others safe. But within Riftwatch itself, you're not in danger of those particular steps.
[He's not technically a Division head, to promise such a thing. On the other hand, they've been dealing with arguably worse rifter problems for a while now.]
Can you describe to me what you've experienced, since you've come here? Don't worry about any technical terms, just how to feels and appears to you.
[ hearing is not believing, and ness' expression doesn't quite clear up, even with the enchanter's assurances. she wants to believe him, she really does, but wanting is exactly why it feels so hard to trustβit would be so easy to tell her exactly what she wants to hear, and then turn around and betray her as soon as she let down her guard. that's what all the smart villains do, and even the well-meaning heroes who don't know who they're working for.
still, the conversation goes nowhere if she doesn't take him at his word, at least for now. so ness nods her acceptance of his promise and stares at her hands, considering. ]
It begins in my stomach, [ she says slowly, hushed, ] a squirming feeling, like I have to vomit. It gets more intense, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, but it feels less like illness and more like... like there's something inside of me writhing to get out. It presses at, at the walls of me, so much that I think there must be some distention in my skin but there never is. It travels up my body and to my anchor and when it frees itself it's these... I don't know how to describe them.
[ she inhales a shaky breath and flexes the fingers on her anchor hand, unable to look julius in the eye anymore. it sounds bad. it sounds really bad. she knows. ]
Whips, maybe. Vines, or... tentacles. Tendrils of some kind of concentrated darkness that reach to beat at anything near me. They don't last long, but they can be destructive, even so. The writhing stops as soon as they're free. It doesn't feel like anything, after that.
ty for your patience (I say as I'm about to go on a trip)
[It's not not concerning, and he doesn't try to gloss over that. But on the other hand, he's not recoiling. He seems to want to understand.]
I'll be honest. It sounds more like a curse than any sort of magecraft, sanctioned or unsanctioned by the Chantry. Something happening to you, rather than something you're doing.
[Which is not wonderful news, in that curses can be complicated to break. On the other hand, it seems unlikely that she's possessed. Possible β rifters complicate things β but it doesn't seem like the way that sort of thing usually manifests.]
To make sure I understand: The tendrils are destructive while they last, but regardless of whether they reach a target, they dissipate on their own. How long, approximately, do they last? Just a best guess is fine.
[ a curse... does that feel right? ness frowns, but considers the idea carefully. she certainly isn't trying to do any of this, but neither has she encountered anyone who could or would have cursed her, recently. the mindflayers wanted her for their parasite, so they'd have had no reason to do anything like that to her, and the githyanki were too keen on murder to bother with anything protracted.
still, an actual enchanter would know better than she would. it's as good a theory as she's got for now. ]
It feels like an eternity, [ in the way the worst things always do, ] but it can't be more than a few seconds. No more than ten, if that.
Alright. That's obviously still distressing, but I think it's manageable.
[He doesn't say we've had worse, but possibly he does think it. Regardless.]
I've brought a substance called magebane, if you'd like to try it while we're working on a more permanent solution. I'm not going to insist, partly because it sounds like you have at least a bit of warning to get away from bystanders, and partly because I'm not entirely sure how it would affect you, as a rifter. For native mages like me, it dampens the ability to use magic temporarily. If your condition is drawn from a connection to the Fade in some way, it's possible the magebane could give you a bit of a reprieve. But if it's not something you want to risk without knowing how it works, that's understandable.
[ distressing, but manageable. despite herself, despite her difficulty trusting his word just a moment ago... ness can't help the way her shoulders lighten and her breath comes a little easier. she doesn't know the enchanter at all, certainly not enough to trust his word just like that, but it's such a relief to have someone who knows more than she does look at her and say "we can work with this".
this isn't the worst case scenario. she's not beyond help. the professional in the room isn't panickingβhell, he hardly looks flustered. she's going to be okay.
she's going to be okay.
relief very nearly turns into incoherent blubbering, but ness pulls herself together by her fingernails, scraping up the last dregs of her composure with a gulping deep breath and the determined expression of one about to attempt a marathon for the first time. ]
Thank you, [she says, without a single falter, ] I think I'd like to try the magebane, at least to see. Could it be, maybe, could I take it just when I can feel the squirming start? I could try it now, to see what happens, if you'd prefer to be around the first time.
I think that's a place to begin. We'll need to experiment a bit, probably, to see how fast you need it to act, but I think "when you first feel the sensation" is a reasonable starting place.
[He retrieve a small flask from the bag he's brought with him. The glass is semi-transparent, hinting at a liquid with a reddish hue and a slightly viscous consistency behind the cork stopper.]
This was originally developed to poison weapons used against mages, so unfortunately it was not developed with taste in mind. [Translation: It's fairly vile.] If you have the time, I might dilute a bit of it in advance. It should be stable in water, and I've heard it's easier to swig a large mouthful with a milder taste than manage a small sip with a stronger bite to it. But that's just for ease of use. In an emergency, you can take a small sip directly.
Certainly, [ agreeing, immediately, to whatever julius suggestsβexperimentation, of course, look how biddable she is, so easy to work with. she accepts the vial, examining its contents as best she can in the low light.
for a poison, it looks fairly innocuousβno sickly green hue, like in illustrations, nor any sort of... palpable malevolence. for something called magebane, it's not very frightening. ]
I see, [she says, closing her first around the vial and holding it close to her chest. ] And small sips should do it, then, no need to drink the whole thing? How long do its effects last? Do we have an abundant supply, or should I be rationing?
[ hang on, actually, more importantlyβ ]
What would happen if I were to take too much? If I did, could that be counteracted in some way? Is there a maximum amount I should ingest within a certain period?
[ rip ness you would have loved to be a medicinal research chemist. ]
I'm not a healer, [caveat, talk to your doctor] but my understanding is that to a point, dose correlates to duration. That is, if you take more, the effects last longer. You certainly shouldn't need to drink the whole flask at once, assuming it works for you as I expect.
That said, I might need to direct you to another source for full information on ... Taking a flask's worth at once might be unpleasant, but shouldn't do you long-term ill. [He's heard of Templars forcing than much on a mage at a time, though that observation feels better unspoken.] An even larger dose might have ill effects; I'm not sure. Enchanter Isaac would be a likely source of information, though you may need to explain your condition to him, and I can understand that prospect giving you some pause.
Hmm. It wouldn't be terribly insensitive, would it, asking the Enchanter about this?
you don't have to be a genius to realize an enchanter with extensive experience with a poison directed specifically at mages might not have gotten that experience in an enjoyable or academic manner. ]
I'll think about asking him, at least, it may be irresponsible not to... But, ohβ
[ her eyes focus on julian again and she smiles, a little watery and wan, but no less genuine for it. ]
Thank you. I've been so afraid, and I didn't want to hurt anyoneβit was eating me up. Between you and Cedric I feel like I'm taking my first deep breath in weeks. It means so much, really.
We've used magebane within the organization before, [Julius assures her.] I think a simple "I need some time while I get a new effect cured or under control" should suffice. You're not the first rifter who got an unwanted gift from the Fade, even if this particular one is new to me.
[A small exhale with a faint smile.]
I suppose it keeps us on our toes. But I'm sorry you're having to deal with it. I think I would be ... cautious about how many people you speak to, before we've learned more. As Carsus may have indicated, there are a lot of native Thedosians who have a strong distrust for magic, especially uncontrolled magic. But I'd say any of the Division Heads are trustworthy. Madame de Cedoux. Stephen Strange, our head healer.
[ confirming, ] I've done some research. [ she knows the shape of the native reaction to magic, even if she hasn't experienced the whole of it for herself yetβthat's half the reason she was so panicked and terrified before tonight, to the point of attempting to isolate herself completely. ] That's why I didn't plan to tell any one I didn'need to about my... condition. I imagine there's no way you leave here and don't immediately tell the Division Heads what happened.
[ it's not a question, because ness has no doubt: after tonight, the division heads will know exactly what she can do, and how unstable it is. it's only right, tooβfor safety reasons, the people in charge of the organization should know when someone might pose a threat to the rest of the group!
it just sucks to be the one posing a threat, is all. ]
Petrana de Cedoux and Stephen Strange... I'll remember those names. They're natives?
Both rifters, actually, [even if that's not specifically why he recommended them.] Both of them are mages, though, or close enough to be a distinction without a difference. Dr. Strange is our head healer, which may give him a professional interest in your condition, [adopting her word]. And Mme de Cedoux has been navigating the intersection of her world's magic and Thedosian magic for many years now. Beyond being trustworthy, she has a unique perspective.
[And Julius is going to tell her about this anyway, more than likely, but he'd recommend her even if that wasn't true.]
Your instinct for discretion is a wise one, I think. But you've landed in a place with more than its share of people who've faced judgment. Most people in Riftwatch prioritize defeating Corypheus. As long as we can ensure you're no danger to yourself or others here in the Gallows, everything else can be managed.
[ it may not be fair, but ness absolutely perks up at both petrana and stephen being rifters. natives just... she's gotten lucky, between cedric and julius both being willing to help her instead of reaching immediately for pitchforks. pushing her luck seems inadvisable, that's all. it's healthy, reasonable caution, not irrational fear. really. ]
I'll remember both of them, thank you.
[ she really will, as soon as she gets back to her things she'll be writing notes on this whole experience.
there's part of that second bit that catches her ear, thoughβmost, emphasized, but that means... ]
Is there anyone in particular I should be cautious with? People less sympathetic than the rest, here?
[He takes his time to consider this question. (Not because it hasn't occurred to him previously.)]
Redvers Keen may not have sufficient trust in the organization's leadership to not feel he needs to take matters into his own hands. You should be especially cautious there. And while I doubt Lazar would be personally outraged, he is forever looking to turn a profit; he might see your distress as a business opportunity first and foremost.
Broadly, I might keep the number of people who know small until the Division Heads have had a chance to weigh in. But I think that is less a function of avoiding individual agents finding out and more a matter of giving them leeway to handle it as they think best.
[ more names to remember, petrana de... sehdoo? (probably not, she'll have to ferret out proper spelling), stephen strange, redvers keen, lazar... ness mouths each name to herself, making different small gestures with each name to reinforce the memory. ]
I didn't plan to tell anyone, [ confirming, and also, you know, she'd assumed he would, but maybe julius can confirm informing the division heads? she'd prefer only to interact with authority figures when she has good news, is the thing.
another deep breath, and ness can feel exhaustion creeping in, now that adrenaline has worn off. ]
Okay, this has been... quite a bit to take in. Iβif there's anything else, might it wait? I just want to make sure I can remember everything properly before I take in anything more.
[ please, her past couple weeks have been so much, she's doing her best but she needs timeβ ]
Go on. Try to get some sleep, if you can. And if you need me for anything with the magebane, or ... I expect I'll be in my office for a few hours yet. But things tend to look better in the morning, even if daylight doesn't actually solve them.
[He's not entirely unworried about letting her go again, but the Division heads will know and his instinct tells him she doesn't mean any active harm. The night will probably be quiet enough.]
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no subject
It's not unheard of, where I'm from, [ in explanation, still a little miserable about it. ] Contact with magical energies can give one magic, in certain circumstances. It may be that I acquired my magic there, but there was no opportunity to discover it before I woke here.
[ seeing as she died there minutes after she might have acquired her magic—but we're not thinking about that. done is done, no use crying over spilt blood. ]
Yes. [ whispered, somewhat ashamed for reasons she can't quite articulate. ] Death or, ah, the other thing. Tranquility?
no subject
[He's not technically a Division head, to promise such a thing. On the other hand, they've been dealing with arguably worse rifter problems for a while now.]
Can you describe to me what you've experienced, since you've come here? Don't worry about any technical terms, just how to feels and appears to you.
no subject
[ hearing is not believing, and ness' expression doesn't quite clear up, even with the enchanter's assurances. she wants to believe him, she really does, but wanting is exactly why it feels so hard to trustβit would be so easy to tell her exactly what she wants to hear, and then turn around and betray her as soon as she let down her guard. that's what all the smart villains do, and even the well-meaning heroes who don't know who they're working for.
still, the conversation goes nowhere if she doesn't take him at his word, at least for now. so ness nods her acceptance of his promise and stares at her hands, considering. ]
It begins in my stomach, [ she says slowly, hushed, ] a squirming feeling, like I have to vomit. It gets more intense, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, but it feels less like illness and more like... like there's something inside of me writhing to get out. It presses at, at the walls of me, so much that I think there must be some distention in my skin but there never is. It travels up my body and to my anchor and when it frees itself it's these... I don't know how to describe them.
[ she inhales a shaky breath and flexes the fingers on her anchor hand, unable to look julius in the eye anymore. it sounds bad. it sounds really bad. she knows. ]
Whips, maybe. Vines, or... tentacles. Tendrils of some kind of concentrated darkness that reach to beat at anything near me. They don't last long, but they can be destructive, even so. The writhing stops as soon as they're free. It doesn't feel like anything, after that.
ty for your patience (I say as I'm about to go on a trip)
I'll be honest. It sounds more like a curse than any sort of magecraft, sanctioned or unsanctioned by the Chantry. Something happening to you, rather than something you're doing.
[Which is not wonderful news, in that curses can be complicated to break. On the other hand, it seems unlikely that she's possessed. Possible β rifters complicate things β but it doesn't seem like the way that sort of thing usually manifests.]
To make sure I understand: The tendrils are destructive while they last, but regardless of whether they reach a target, they dissipate on their own. How long, approximately, do they last? Just a best guess is fine.
np!!
[ a curse... does that feel right? ness frowns, but considers the idea carefully. she certainly isn't trying to do any of this, but neither has she encountered anyone who could or would have cursed her, recently. the mindflayers wanted her for their parasite, so they'd have had no reason to do anything like that to her, and the githyanki were too keen on murder to bother with anything protracted.
still, an actual enchanter would know better than she would. it's as good a theory as she's got for now. ]
It feels like an eternity, [ in the way the worst things always do, ] but it can't be more than a few seconds. No more than ten, if that.
no subject
[He doesn't say we've had worse, but possibly he does think it. Regardless.]
I've brought a substance called magebane, if you'd like to try it while we're working on a more permanent solution. I'm not going to insist, partly because it sounds like you have at least a bit of warning to get away from bystanders, and partly because I'm not entirely sure how it would affect you, as a rifter. For native mages like me, it dampens the ability to use magic temporarily. If your condition is drawn from a connection to the Fade in some way, it's possible the magebane could give you a bit of a reprieve. But if it's not something you want to risk without knowing how it works, that's understandable.
no subject
[ distressing, but manageable. despite herself, despite her difficulty trusting his word just a moment ago... ness can't help the way her shoulders lighten and her breath comes a little easier. she doesn't know the enchanter at all, certainly not enough to trust his word just like that, but it's such a relief to have someone who knows more than she does look at her and say "we can work with this".
this isn't the worst case scenario. she's not beyond help. the professional in the room isn't panickingβhell, he hardly looks flustered. she's going to be okay.
she's going to be okay.
relief very nearly turns into incoherent blubbering, but ness pulls herself together by her fingernails, scraping up the last dregs of her composure with a gulping deep breath and the determined expression of one about to attempt a marathon for the first time. ]
Thank you, [she says, without a single falter, ] I think I'd like to try the magebane, at least to see. Could it be, maybe, could I take it just when I can feel the squirming start? I could try it now, to see what happens, if you'd prefer to be around the first time.
no subject
[He retrieve a small flask from the bag he's brought with him. The glass is semi-transparent, hinting at a liquid with a reddish hue and a slightly viscous consistency behind the cork stopper.]
This was originally developed to poison weapons used against mages, so unfortunately it was not developed with taste in mind. [Translation: It's fairly vile.] If you have the time, I might dilute a bit of it in advance. It should be stable in water, and I've heard it's easier to swig a large mouthful with a milder taste than manage a small sip with a stronger bite to it. But that's just for ease of use. In an emergency, you can take a small sip directly.
no subject
Certainly, [ agreeing, immediately, to whatever julius suggestsβexperimentation, of course, look how biddable she is, so easy to work with. she accepts the vial, examining its contents as best she can in the low light.
for a poison, it looks fairly innocuousβno sickly green hue, like in illustrations, nor any sort of... palpable malevolence. for something called magebane, it's not very frightening. ]
I see, [she says, closing her first around the vial and holding it close to her chest. ] And small sips should do it, then, no need to drink the whole thing? How long do its effects last? Do we have an abundant supply, or should I be rationing?
[ hang on, actually, more importantlyβ ]
What would happen if I were to take too much? If I did, could that be counteracted in some way? Is there a maximum amount I should ingest within a certain period?
[ rip ness you would have loved to be a medicinal research chemist. ]
no subject
That said, I might need to direct you to another source for full information on ... Taking a flask's worth at once might be unpleasant, but shouldn't do you long-term ill. [He's heard of Templars forcing than much on a mage at a time, though that observation feels better unspoken.] An even larger dose might have ill effects; I'm not sure. Enchanter Isaac would be a likely source of information, though you may need to explain your condition to him, and I can understand that prospect giving you some pause.
no subject
Hmm. It wouldn't be terribly insensitive, would it, asking the Enchanter about this?
you don't have to be a genius to realize an enchanter with extensive experience with a poison directed specifically at mages might not have gotten that experience in an enjoyable or academic manner. ]
I'll think about asking him, at least, it may be irresponsible not to... But, ohβ
[ her eyes focus on julian again and she smiles, a little watery and wan, but no less genuine for it. ]
Thank you. I've been so afraid, and I didn't want to hurt anyoneβit was eating me up. Between you and Cedric I feel like I'm taking my first deep breath in weeks. It means so much, really.
no subject
[A small exhale with a faint smile.]
I suppose it keeps us on our toes. But I'm sorry you're having to deal with it. I think I would be ... cautious about how many people you speak to, before we've learned more. As Carsus may have indicated, there are a lot of native Thedosians who have a strong distrust for magic, especially uncontrolled magic. But I'd say any of the Division Heads are trustworthy. Madame de Cedoux. Stephen Strange, our head healer.
no subject
[ confirming, ] I've done some research. [ she knows the shape of the native reaction to magic, even if she hasn't experienced the whole of it for herself yetβthat's half the reason she was so panicked and terrified before tonight, to the point of attempting to isolate herself completely. ] That's why I didn't plan to tell any one I didn'need to about my... condition. I imagine there's no way you leave here and don't immediately tell the Division Heads what happened.
[ it's not a question, because ness has no doubt: after tonight, the division heads will know exactly what she can do, and how unstable it is. it's only right, tooβfor safety reasons, the people in charge of the organization should know when someone might pose a threat to the rest of the group!
it just sucks to be the one posing a threat, is all. ]
Petrana de Cedoux and Stephen Strange... I'll remember those names. They're natives?
no subject
[And Julius is going to tell her about this anyway, more than likely, but he'd recommend her even if that wasn't true.]
Your instinct for discretion is a wise one, I think. But you've landed in a place with more than its share of people who've faced judgment. Most people in Riftwatch prioritize defeating Corypheus. As long as we can ensure you're no danger to yourself or others here in the Gallows, everything else can be managed.
no subject
[ it may not be fair, but ness absolutely perks up at both petrana and stephen being rifters. natives just... she's gotten lucky, between cedric and julius both being willing to help her instead of reaching immediately for pitchforks. pushing her luck seems inadvisable, that's all. it's healthy, reasonable caution, not irrational fear. really. ]
I'll remember both of them, thank you.
[ she really will, as soon as she gets back to her things she'll be writing notes on this whole experience.
there's part of that second bit that catches her ear, thoughβmost, emphasized, but that means... ]
Is there anyone in particular I should be cautious with? People less sympathetic than the rest, here?
no subject
Redvers Keen may not have sufficient trust in the organization's leadership to not feel he needs to take matters into his own hands. You should be especially cautious there. And while I doubt Lazar would be personally outraged, he is forever looking to turn a profit; he might see your distress as a business opportunity first and foremost.
Broadly, I might keep the number of people who know small until the Division Heads have had a chance to weigh in. But I think that is less a function of avoiding individual agents finding out and more a matter of giving them leeway to handle it as they think best.
no subject
[ more names to remember, petrana de... sehdoo? (probably not, she'll have to ferret out proper spelling), stephen strange, redvers keen, lazar... ness mouths each name to herself, making different small gestures with each name to reinforce the memory. ]
I didn't plan to tell anyone, [ confirming, and also, you know, she'd assumed he would, but maybe julius can confirm informing the division heads? she'd prefer only to interact with authority figures when she has good news, is the thing.
another deep breath, and ness can feel exhaustion creeping in, now that adrenaline has worn off. ]
Okay, this has been... quite a bit to take in. Iβif there's anything else, might it wait? I just want to make sure I can remember everything properly before I take in anything more.
[ please, her past couple weeks have been so much, she's doing her best but she needs timeβ ]
no subject
Go on. Try to get some sleep, if you can. And if you need me for anything with the magebane, or ... I expect I'll be in my office for a few hours yet. But things tend to look better in the morning, even if daylight doesn't actually solve them.
[He's not entirely unworried about letting her go again, but the Division heads will know and his instinct tells him she doesn't mean any active harm. The night will probably be quiet enough.]